We had hoped that Mosby could go to daycare Monday though Wednesday this week (2nd chemo is scheduled for Thursday), but with his back issues we decided that he should rest at home these three days. Then he’ll be rested up for chemo on Thursday. Friday my husband will take off and stay home with him while he recovers.
Tomorrow morning I’ve scheduled an appointment with a vet to do acupuncture on his back, and during this visit I will also catch up with his PT vet to discuss managing Mosby’s back pain and the best plan for moving forward. I hope she has some additional insight and ideas. I know that we need to strengthen his abs and back to reduce this strain, but at the same time we can’t do things that hurt his back and make him less likely to use it. We need to be able to do the water treadmill, but I don’t know at what point they’ll declare his infection “clear.” It’s looking less bad, but hasn’t healed up, and I’m afraid it could grow over some hair and create a bigger problem.
Thursday is Mosby’s 2nd chemo if all goes according to plan. Hopefully, his blood work will be good to move forward and the infection won’t create a reason to delay. Delaying the chemo means delaying the 3rd chemo, which means delaying the surgery to remove the sarcoma that we’re supposed to do 2 weeks after the 3rd chemo. Hopefully on Thursday the surgeon will also evaluate his leg and determine the scope of the surgery that will need to be done when the time comes.
It is in no way a burden to manage all this for Mosby. I do it because I love him and want the best for him. I would do it a million times over, without hesitation.
But I had a pretty big reminder of just how much stress and anxiety balancing Mosby’s care and a full time job and a household can cause on a person physically and mentally. Mosby may have ended up in the ER Thursday night, but I ended up in the ER Friday night with a severe sudden unilateral headache, followed by dizziness and low blood pressure, and me passing out. We were pretty scared – I’m extremely reluctant to go to the doctor, so the fact that I voluntarily went to the ER says something. A CT scan and EKG ruled out bad things, but they aren’t really sure what it was. I was out of it, maybe just from shock, for about 2 hours. The rest of the weekend was uneventful. I’m assuming that whatever it was, was caused in large part by stress. I’ll follow up with my primary this week, but I doubt it will be anything but a physical reaction to the last month or so. In the mean time, I’m going to try to focus on positive things. The problem is that it is hard, when there are so many things that are not positive. But I’m going to try.
Anyway, not trying to be a downer. But I did want to be honest in terms of what these last 5 weeks have been like. I wish Mosby were one of those dogs who had really sprung back to normal life 2 weeks after surgery. I don’t want that for me, I want that for him. And until he’s at a point where I do think he is happy again, it is going to be hard to live with this dark cloud above my head.